Looking Back, Looking Forward - A Widow's Perspective - All Comments

re: Five months since last post! Oh my!

Jack Long — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 03:54:50 GMT

Thanks for continuing to share your thoughts.

re: Chapel Hill

Brian Turrisi — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 12:36:23 GMT

This is all part of "healing" and getting used to the loss of a loved one. Nice to see things are moving forward for you Deb!

re: 14 months since the plane crash....

Jack Long — Fri, 16 Sep 2011 03:48:32 GMT

Totally concur with the other comments. If I were gone, I would hope my wife would think of ME on a daily basis, but I don't think particular dates and times are important.

The mere fact that you continue to post here after so much time is a testament to how you feel about him.

re: 14 months since the plane crash....

Brian Turrisi — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 16:54:30 GMT

Deb: Please do not beat yourself up over this. You are simply moving on in time and you are sorting out what is really important to you and not.

As an example, do you remember a year ago what the weather was like on your birthday. After all, your birthday is important right? But do you remember the weather that day? I do not remember with my own birthday either. nor the day before or the day after. It is because remembering the weather was just not important that day even though the event is important.

Yet, ten years ago, I am just about everyone remember the weather on September 11, 2001. It was a bright sunny clear wonderful morning. Why do we now remember that?? Because the weather was a factor in what happened around 8:30 that morning. It was a part of the scene and a contributor to the event itself. So we remember it,

The exact time of Tom's accident, especially on a monthly basis, will become less memorable because it really does not mean anything. Tom is who you will always remember but the time will become less significant as time moves on.

This is a good sign. It means you are moving on as well with your life which is what Tom would want. You are no linger getting bogged down by insignificant details of time. Enjoy!

re: 14 months since the plane crash....

Frank Convertini — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 15:05:08 GMT

The mind and memory are remarkable. There is a verse that I read some 40 years ago for the first time and it speaks to the mind's inability to remember the pain one has endured. It is: "The memory is notoriously inaccurate, the past is nothing more than a collection of fantasies". I suspect that you will only remember the best of life with Tom as time goes on and while I didn't know him, it appears that is the way he would want it to be.

Frank

re: 14 months since the plane crash....

Rick Beach — Thu, 15 Sep 2011 11:16:38 GMT

Interesting to reflect on the differences between remembering and forgetting. Yes, you are moving on with new life challenges, so best wishes for those efforts. Hard to imagine what is gained by remembering the exact date and time when there are so many new things to fill your life. But also hard to imagine you forgetting that your life included Tom and his passions. I hope you can find a new balance between these so that your life can grow and fill with new experiences.

Cheers

Rick

re: Just over 12 months....

Bob Wagner — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 19:28:33 GMT

Keep smiling, Deb. Glad you were able to join & inspire us at the Allentown COPA event. It was nice to finally me you in person.

re: Just over 12 months....

Rick Freeman — Sat, 23 Jul 2011 00:00:08 GMT

I'm Glad to hear you are doing so well. Keep up the good fight. I know Tom Is so very proud of you.

I hope you find peace and happiness in everything you do.

Good Luck!

re: 9 Months this past Tuesday

Todd Carroll — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 03:36:15 GMT

For clarification, I meant I like your blog, not that tolerance increases as we get older like your blog. Your blog is timeless and a demonstration that life is short, but we must always move on. Glad you are.

re: 9 Months this past Tuesday

Todd Carroll — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 03:25:59 GMT

I must say, I admire your and your late husband's taste in music. With teeth gritting, I have to admit I like that Jim K.'s taste in music too. Never thought I would have to say that about such a known liberal, pinko pansy sort of guy like Jim K. But, as we get older, tolerance increases. Like your blog.

re: 9 Months this past Tuesday

James Knollenberg — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 23:21:26 GMT

Really good stuff Deb. Please keep writing. I'm trying to read between the lines here and my impression is you are doing very well.

And Bob Seger is the absolute best! For road music or for reminiscing about coming of age in the 60s and 70s, there is none better. Wish I was there.

Roll Me Away

Night Moves

Old Time Rock and Roll

Like a Rock

Against the Wind (it got me through my 30s)

Turn the Page

Hollywood Nights

Every one a gem!

re: This Drive Was Different

Deb Markwood — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 01:58:33 GMT

Excellent. Glad you could use it. I heard about it from a friend.

re: This Drive Was Different

Rick Freeman — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 16:29:33 GMT

Deb, I'm so glad to read you are doing well. it's so cool to read your updates and feel the love that you have for Tom. Keep up the good work and Thanks for the App mention. I just downloaded it on my iPhone. It looks pretty neat!

Take care for now.

re: 8 months today - and still moving forward....

Deb Markwood — Sat, 19 Mar 2011 00:31:30 GMT

Bob - his birthday was September 5th - but close enough! I had an interesting few days - going to write about it soon.

re: 8 months today - and still moving forward....

Bob Wagner — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 01:31:30 GMT

The marker looks awesome, Deb. It has the appearance of the same rugged character as you've described Tom. Interesting coincidence - Tom & I share the same b-day of 9 sep. The copa community still has you in our thoughts & prayers!